Facebook Status Update Gems - 2011

The richest and most loved ones are those who are grateful. Those who have what they want but aren't grateful for them are the poorest of the lot. No matter how much they have, it means nothing to them. For these bottomless pits, nothing is EVER enough.

Johana's Rule #1: If you dress drabbily and your partner looks at others, its your fault. If you care for your looks and your partner STILL look at others, buy a gun and shoot their genitals. Simple.

Johana's Rule #2: If you betray the ones you love, you don't deserve to be loved.

I hate having to filter everything I wanna say just because some people can't take it. So, I just shut up.

The tempest within rages on... Stay clear. Or else you'd end up like me... upside down.

If you look for it, you will find it.

It is not the opinion of others that bothers you; but rather your opinion of yourself.

Perfection is fiction.

I am not brand conscious. Just brand loyal. Know the difference...? 

My scars remind me of the things I've survived. They remind me of my strength and lessons learned.

Complaining about the state of the world will not improve your own life. Stop bitching and get to work, you lazy bum holes! As for the rest, Happy Friday to you!! No one deserves the weekend more than hard working people, domestic goddesses and students included.

When in doubt, go straight!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Especially rotten ones.

I'm grateful for bigger fonts. Alhamdulillah.

Eat three times. Crap once. No wonder people are so full of s**t!

Venting on status update is not therapeutic if you're still angry after months have passed. You may be a unique individual but your issues have been faced by plenty others BEFORE and AFTER you. Get help. Go speak to a counselor. Sort it out and move on.

When someone shows you their true colors, believe them. They may lie and act all sweet and kind. But eventually the truth will surface when the drama is over. You just gotta learn to know the difference between truth and fiction. That's one lesson I will NEVER forget.

Logical reasons will never satisfy the hunger of a soul.

Sorry. Not interested. 

If I mean anything to you, then you'd check with me first before believing anything you may be told about me. If not, then it means I am nothing to you and I'm fine with that too. Apart from God, I am the ONLY ONE who knows my truth.

Be grateful for moments when you feel as though the whole world is against you; for that is when you will know who your true allies and loyal supporters are. This is how God filters the people in our lives so we can see the diamonds among the gravels.

Love wins. Malice loses. Always.

If you're gonna lie each time you speak; I am not interested to listen or give you the opportunity to fool me. Here's the lowdown on what you're doing now: I was doing it when you were still swimming in your father's balls.

I'm beginning to feel as though I'm living in a foreign country.

I hope he's worth all the lies you tell yourself everyday.

I'm detoxing, so I shall stay home all day because a clean public toilet is as mythical as the unicorn.

You know that if you have to lie and hide, whatever you are doing is WRONG! And there is NO right way of doing something WRONG.

I'm trying my very best to age gracefully but I think eventually, I may have to put up a darn good fight! 

People should stay out of nosing around other people's backyard when their own is infested with weed and parasites.

For as long as I am alive, I WIN!

I really get a kick out of ignoring drama queens and divas.

And now you are caught in your own web of lies, the more you struggle to get out, the tighter the knot gets around your neck. This is your own doing. No one else to blame but yourself.

As much as I'd 'love' to do sit-ups, I need to lie-down.

In my opinion, some people should just take the cloth that covers their aurat and stuff it in their judgmental and bitching mouths! The hijab is NOT a license for you to look down on others.

I'm sorry you can't be the center of my universe. Unfortunately for you, that place has already been taken up by God.

Biting my lips. Got nothing nice to say.

Forgiveness is only for unintentional wrong doings. There's no mercy for malice and spite.

Good God! Keep your preachings to yourself, mate! Ramadhan is a time of self and spiritual cleansing! Not for feeling holier-than-thou! Keep yourself in check. No one's perfect! Pfftt!!

Beb, if its complicated, its not a relationship. Simple.

God is the best teacher. Some people learn a lesson a day. Some may need a month, while others take years or a lifetime to understand a simple thing. Let's hope our light bulb moment doesn't come just before our final return home.

Its not fair to compare your worst to other people's best. Even if you can't help yourself, at the very least, be fair.

I'd rather focus on things I CAN control.

Its not a crime to make a mistake. Its just stupid to keep repeating it.

A swan looks elegant and graceful as it glides across the pond. But beneath the surface of the water, it's feet are frantically paddling for it's dear life! So, don't assume everything is hunky dory. It takes a lot of effort to get it looking this good.

In order to appreciate the blessings of today, we need to dump yesterday's attitude. Negative expectations beget negative outcomes.

Be grateful when you can sleep, for there are many zombies out there who would trade anything for a decent shut eye.

No matter how bad things are, no matter how harshly you judge yourself, no matter how much you have sinned and think you're not worthy of God's forgiveness, please remember you are loved by Allah the Most Loving and Most Merciful. You are loved because you are worthy of love. That's a fact.

Shut up when you're either too angry, too happy, too sleepy or have had too much coffee. Come to think of it, just shut up.

Even if I could turn back time, I'd still make the same mistakes I made... but in a different way. 

ADAMANT: Attitude of the Day.

In moments when you feel happy and loved, savor the pleasure and remember it when you're down to remind yourself that things will be okay again.

Everyone has different reasons for doing the same thing.

Today is a brand new day. Don't ruin it by being selfish.

It amazes me how much people reveal their inner self through the things they say on their updates. Some people really need to get laid. Holy crap!

I'm not ashamed to admit I am old enough to remember May 13th incident. I was there. And I DO NOT want any of my loved ones to be killed unnecessarily. I am grateful my country is not Afghanistan or Palestine. If that makes me shallow, so be it.

Jangan mengata orang lah. Sendiri pun tak betul.

Let's not be like some stupid country that votes for a president only to declare later that the fella can't do the job for some reason or rather. Or else, stop bitching and qualify yourself to be the leader of a nation. Opinions don't change the status quo. Action does. No, not demos or rallies. Shake your own tail feathers and do it yourself, idiots!

Well done! You have proven whatever that people have been saying about you is true! Congratulations!

I hate shopping. I'm not into shoes or handbags. I don't care about the latest vogue trend. I must be a man... 

Change teaches us to adapt and adjust. If we resist the lesson, we will be broken.

If everyone realizes that we are all walking towards death, we wouldn't be in such a hurry to get there.

Silence is the best way to express disapproval.

And she pinched my pain away and willed a smile unto my face. Pain is a great teacher of gratitude.

Too bad a pretty face is spoiled by a foul mouth. What a waste.

Don't quote the Quran and Hadith just to sell your products lah! Allah and our Prophet (s.a.w) has nothing to do with your business!

In reading the madness of others, I stumble upon my own elusive sanity.

Stop preaching, lah! Everyone is too busy listening to their own internal dialogues.

When gratitude is only said by mouth but not felt by the heart, the mouth will feel thirsty and the heart will feel restless. The absence of barakah, that is.

If I don't fit your idea of how I should be, maybe its time for you to expend your mind. There's plenty others who can accommodate my truth. You're not worthy of my conformity.

Some types of madness can be contagious.

Question: What's worse than a PMS-tic woman? 
Answer: A pre-menopausal woman. She's neither here nor there.

Some people don't realize they have a really ODD problem. ODD = Over Dramatizing Disorder.

So much for beauty sleep. After hours of sleeping, I still look the same... Dayyum.

I'd like to believe that I have done such a fantastic job at bringing up my children to be independent, resourceful and intelligent that they won't miss me when I'm gone. If that's an achievement, why is my heart aching...? Time to let go.

There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.... I've had enough.

One day I'll fly away. And when I'm gone, it won't make a difference if I'm loved or missed. I'll still be gone.

If life begins at 40, when is midlife crisis suppose to hit...? When you're dead...?

I reckon midlife crisis is like when you have rambut gatal. You just HAVE to keep on searching for the root of the itchiness and pull it out in order to restore sanity.

May Allah SWT give you patience for what you struggle with, and may your struggles be for Allah SWT's sake. Ameen.

I'll make sure you know it when you've made the mistake of crossing the line.

When you forgive someone, you are making a promise to not use their past sins against them. Forgiveness is a promise.

Cover yourself for modesty but silence your lips for humility. Cloth is cloth. Faith is faith. Two different things. Don't measure one by the other.

Haters are people who just have no idea how to deal with their own stupidity.

Its so sad to see how blind some people can be when it comes to telling which is diamond and which is glass. And then they wonder why their lives lack quality and worth.

New Age Biodata: Home - FB, Phone - Mobile, Address - Email. News Source- Twitter. Relationship - Complicated.

Today, I am grateful I can't find the perfect weapon to kill someone. Just saying... -.-

I'm sorry but I choose not to personalize your anger because it ain't got nothin' to do with me. So, go dog crazy for all I care.

October 2011

No amount of fragrant perfume can mask the stench of a malicious heart.


I don't wish for a better body. I just wish for my younger body.


For as long as you are keeping to the same old ways, you'll keep getting the same old crap.


The ultimate goal for love is not marriage but a sense of belonging and relationship.


The reason why God made certain things unseen is because its none of our business. Stop nosing around. You won't be able to handle it anyway.


I have no use for judgmental friends. They are as good as strangers and enemies.


Honesty must be practiced in words as well as in behavior.


Certain experiences should not be shared with others through twitter. Especially spiritual ones. Unless you're a bird... Tweet away, twits!

September 2011

Your stupidity isn't anyone's fault, except your own.


You can't embrace your future with your hands full of past hangups.


Speak nicely to me and I will listen. Your yelling only motivates me to 'change the channel'.


When your need to be right becomes more important to you than accepting the truth, that is when you will never win.


When you know your future, it ceases to be your future. It becomes your present.


You know you haven't moved on when you're still angry.


Don't let your bad choices keep you from making better ones.


You won't miss something you've forgotten.


You make a bad teacher onto yourself because your wisdom is tainted by ignorance and your knowledge is corrupted by your own arrogance.


Speak your mind, follow your heart. But your soul travels it's own journey.


Someone said that listening to Jazz music makes him feel intelligent. I wonder what that says about the Jazz musicians.


Jazz is democracy in music, where everyone gets to express their feel on things.


When you twitter your angst to avoid dealing with it in reality, you're a yellow bird. Coward.


You will never find true meaning in life through skeptical eyes and angry heart. Minus everything else, you're left with you. That's true.


Almost everyone eats 3 square meals but only takes a dump once a day. And we wonder why there are so many shit heads around.


God filters people in your life with money and gold. The ones left standing by your side are the truest of gems. Diamonds deserving of you.


Although children are small human beings, their happiness and sufferings are as real as our own. They deserve respect too.

August 2011

Nothing I say is aimed to impress anyone. It's just my way of expressing myself.


A visible act of obedience is not a measure of the intangible faith.


Those who say they are happy all the time are either crazy or liars.


A jerk in a tuxedo is still a jerk.


We do what is important to the people who are important to us.


What you do sincerely every day will be the very thing you will be remembered for when you're gone.

July 2011

Not everyone defines the term 'friends' in the same way. Hence, the confusion continues.


Your opinion on religion has nothing to do with my faith in Allah. Correct your own flaws before condemning others to hell.


Pretending to be someone you're not is the most undiagnosed kind of madness there is.


If you're bored, it means you need to start living! Your life has already begun. WTF are you waiting for? Death?


'Madness' provides the freedom of being authentic without having to explain oneself.


I'm sorry for making bad choices but I do not regret them.


There's a difference between a bad person and a bad behavior.


I'd hate to think what kind of hell it would be if everyone gets their way with everything on earth.


There's more wisdom to be found in history books than on today's TV.


Virtual hypocrite: people who add you on social networks with no intention of communicating with you because they hate/envy/wannabe you.


Quit complaining. Either do something about it or accommodate it. Make a choice. No excuses. Only valid reasons. No regrets. Be brave.


I opened my eyes to realize I'm alive and instinctively knew what needs to get done. Worry less. Love fully. Here today. Gone tomorrow.


When pure love shines through your heart, you will be alive again, just like the way you were born. Out of pure love.


Love someone for who they are, not for who you think they are.


The proof of love can't be seen with the naked eye. It can only be felt by a sensible heart.


Responsibility is the ability to respond.


Its cowardly to speak ill of the dead. They can't defend themselves.

June 2011

When children are taught to devalue others, they will eventually devalue their parents.

Pain is also a universal language.

There's no victims in relationships. Just volunteers.

Do not assume you know me when you don't even know who you are.

It takes moments of sadness for people to appreciate the times when they were happy.

If a lie is repeated often enough, it ends up convincing everyone... even the liar. - adapted from Coelho's words in The Zahir.

Humans are the animal that talk about sex. Others just do it.

Trivializing the sufferings of others is the worst form selfishness and arrogance.

Your fiction is NOT my fact.

At least, beggars don't pretend to be happy when they are not.

Three things I'm grateful for each time I get my period: 1. I'm not pregnant 2. I've not reached menopause yet 3. Nail polish!

Work as if you'll live forever, live each day as if it were your last day, love as if its your first love.

It's never been so much about what was done but more of the way it was done.

When people exclaim "Oh my God!", God is the furthest from their minds.

The absence of argument is not a sign of peace. At least in war, the conflict is obvious.

I refuse to be a prisoner of my past. Nor will I allow it to fashion my present and contaminate my future. The burden of guilt ends here.

My heart may betray me, but I cannot betray my heart.

Be loved.

In counting my blessings, I am grateful for the ability to count.

You can't have peace with others if you can't make peace with yourself.

Instead of complaining, why don't you do something about it? No more excuses.

I just hate rantings that come in episodes. The end is inconclusive.

May 2011

When you bend backwards to help others, you will never fall flat on your face.


You'll have to be loved and remembered in order for your presence to be missed.


Nobody lies more to you than you do to yourself.


It tickles me to see a nobody pretending to be a somebody. But I just thoroughly love it when a somebody pretends to be a nobody. Awesome..!


Can you still fit the clothes you wore when you were 10 yrs old? Embrace change. You'll never know who you're gonna be tomorrow.


Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it. Not everything goes the way you want it to be. That's reality.


Hang on to your insecurities and you will lose the love of your life.


To be angry with others is more bearable than to be angry with oneself.


The moment you can learn to laugh at yourself, you are already on the road to recovery.


Assuming I am anything like you just because of few similarities is a HUGE mistake. God does not make duplicates.


If its on your mind, you're just thinking it but not feeling it. And yes, I am referring to LOVE.


Only He can calm the tempest within me. Watch and learn. Pretty soon it will be your turn.


You wouldn't understand half the shit I'm going thru even if you're shoved up my ass.


You can only have what you hang on to, lose who you let go of and be distant from where you walked away from.


You must always know what it is that you want. What is desired by others is not necessarily the best for you.


Life is like sipping on hot spicy tom yum soup. If you're impatient or greedy, it will go down the wrong way. Easy does it.


Bad choices of my past has given me wisdom no sage or magi can ever impart onto me.


I am a lone traveller. This world is for me to walk on, not carry on my shoulders.


If you're unhappy, it means you really gotta stop obsessing about small stuff and GET A LIFE.


Trust God. He knows what He's doing. You don't. Shut up and pay attention.


Ideally, my preferred accessories are earplugs, shades and surgical mask. Only loud mouthed, ugly and smelly people thought MJ was wacko.


Betrayal can only come from those closest to us.


There's a big difference between my wants and my capabilities.

April 2011

There are days when grief gets too much that only tears can speak its words. Today is not such a day. I am thankful.


How many times have you said "Oh my God" and truly meant it?


Very few choices are irreversible.


You will see traces of your loved ones when you remember them. They are invisible when you forget.


Trying to remember what I've forgotten and trying to forget what I remember. Its as hard as forgetting something I don't know.


In God, we trust. In others, we play it by ear.


Almost always, it takes someone's death to remind us how to live well.


The courage to choose and face consequences of choices are elements needed in acquiring wisdom.


It takes a beautiful soul to see the beautify in another and help that light shine through like a bright sunny day.


I know for sure that I am loved. Nothing else matters.


God's delay is not God's denial. Keep the faith. Drop the doubt.


The whole purpose of communication is to understand and be understood. Manipulation is not part of this equation.


True wisdom is not in the spoken words but in knowing when to shut up.


Your ideals are not your limitations.


God allows for sins to happen in order to teach us humility. No one is immune to it. Beware.


Its wonderful when people show they care but its a true blessing when people genuinely pray for your total well-being. That's God's love.


The first step towards self-improvement is to take responsibility and ownership of your own flaws. Its always an 'inside' job.


Be grateful for NOW. It only comes once.


Sympathy is not love. Attention is not love. Sincerity is love.


Love heals. Hate kills. Perfection is fiction.


The heart never lies and the eyes will always reveal the truth.


If you try to control love, it will disappear.


Do not let the thoughts in your head get to you. There's a difference between reality and opinion.


For as long as you can articulate it, you still lack depth and understanding of the matter.


Just shut up for a while and let people believe that you're actually intelligent.


I'm happily married. - 4th April, 2011.


Waiting for merciful blessings with quiet anxiety.


Even the most expensive silk came from a measly worm. Unless you know exactly how you're gonna end up, don't judge others.


If you don't do it, someone else will... Food for thought.


As much as you strive for your ideals, it is your humanness that keeps you real.


I love getting attention... But only from the ones I'm giving it to.


The best gift you can ever give to your beloved is the best of you.


Unsolicited advice will fall on deaf ears.


The past may be different from how you remember it.


As you sit on your high horse, do remember you need an ass to give you that height. Pay tribute to those who played their part in your life.


Obsessing about something will only give you anxiety and not much of anything else.


You think you know people and then they say something really stupid that makes you go "Yucks!"


I just don't know how to answer stupid questions intelligently.


Nothing spoils a good quote than bad grammar.


Now that I've made my boundaries known, I will be offended if you trip over it again; for I shall see it as intentionally hurtful.


Ask curious questions and you will get very interesting answers. Curiosity breeds interest.


A single hug can be more meaningful than countless comforting words.


Practice random acts of kindness today. It's nice to be on the receiving end. But it's gotta begin somewhere. Might as well start from you.

March 2011

Some people think that by being polite, they are being respectful. They need a dictionary.

I pray that the last thing I do before my return is to be useful to others.

When someone shows you who they really are, BELIEVE THEM and not what you think they are. That will save you a LOT of future heartaches.

If you don't know how to love yourself, you don't know what love is. Simple.

The most potent emotional security magic potion: When someone tells you, "You are the love of my life." Simply sweet.

Its what's in the balloon that makes it go up.

Many people pray but very few really believe that God listens. And then they wonder why their prayers are on hold. Duh!

If your attitude towards life's lessons is like a glass half full, you will never learn anything.

The only thing that separates the future from the past is the present. Pay attention to the here and now. Every second only comes once.

Take a chance and be honest in your communication with your loved ones. You can't manipulate honesty.

Once your values become negotiable, you become negotiable.

People will keep on doing what works for them. When it stops giving them the results they want, they will change.

People don't change. They just improvise.

Love is not ownership.

Don't be calculative with God. You're gonna need His mercy at the end of your life.

You can't get everything you need from a 7 Eleven; altho it's open all the time. No one's perfect. Neither are you. Get real.

Each time I plan, God laughs...

Only you are responsible for your own happiness.

I am the centre of my universe because it's my world and it IS about me.

It feels so good to be able to scratch an itch. Bliss!

Extraordinary people are those who do extra of the ordinary stuff.

A dead millionaire is still dead. A dead saint is still a saint.

Be grateful you have something to be grateful for. Don't think that's possible without the air you breath.

Life is like a pair of Aldo shoes. You pay so much to look good so no one can ever know you're hurting each time you take a step.

No matter how many new people you meet in your life, they will never replace those who were there when you were becoming YOU.

I just wanna be precious to someone who is precious to me.

You may claim to speak the truth but your action proves that you lie.

Absent mindedness is a result of a lifetime spent thinking of yesterdays and tomorrows. Live life consciously. That's true gratitude.

Life is like coffee. Too much of it will make you crazy.

Miracles can only be recognized through eyes of faith.

People who don't know how to share are the greediest of the lot. They don't deserve anything because nothing is ever enough.

"I love you" is preferred over "I still love you" ... anytime.

Asking a simple but sincere "How are you?" can make someone feel they matter. It may be the very reason they decide to live another day.

Psychologists do it in their heads.

He doesn't have to. But he does. And I love him for that.

Its funny the way people love getting freebies even though it may not be something they really want or need.

Wrinkles on your face are reminders of how you think, when you laughed, where you cried, and what made you smile.

The difference between problem and opportunity is only in the attitude.

Even through pain, women can carry on with their daily lives. This is why men find it hard to empathize when a woman is truly suffering.

Obsessiveness lead to stress.

My pocket may be empty but my life is full. Allah has been very generous on me and I am utterly thankful.

Simplify your life. This world is complicated enough.

Some people expected me to fail in life but I never let that stop me from disappointing them.

Resist the temptation to sigh in the face of challenges. Its a waste of good breath.