Facebook Status Update Gems - 2011

The richest and most loved ones are those who are grateful. Those who have what they want but aren't grateful for them are the poorest of the lot. No matter how much they have, it means nothing to them. For these bottomless pits, nothing is EVER enough.

Johana's Rule #1: If you dress drabbily and your partner looks at others, its your fault. If you care for your looks and your partner STILL look at others, buy a gun and shoot their genitals. Simple.

Johana's Rule #2: If you betray the ones you love, you don't deserve to be loved.

I hate having to filter everything I wanna say just because some people can't take it. So, I just shut up.

The tempest within rages on... Stay clear. Or else you'd end up like me... upside down.

If you look for it, you will find it.

It is not the opinion of others that bothers you; but rather your opinion of yourself.

Perfection is fiction.

I am not brand conscious. Just brand loyal. Know the difference...? 

My scars remind me of the things I've survived. They remind me of my strength and lessons learned.

Complaining about the state of the world will not improve your own life. Stop bitching and get to work, you lazy bum holes! As for the rest, Happy Friday to you!! No one deserves the weekend more than hard working people, domestic goddesses and students included.

When in doubt, go straight!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Especially rotten ones.

I'm grateful for bigger fonts. Alhamdulillah.

Eat three times. Crap once. No wonder people are so full of s**t!

Venting on status update is not therapeutic if you're still angry after months have passed. You may be a unique individual but your issues have been faced by plenty others BEFORE and AFTER you. Get help. Go speak to a counselor. Sort it out and move on.

When someone shows you their true colors, believe them. They may lie and act all sweet and kind. But eventually the truth will surface when the drama is over. You just gotta learn to know the difference between truth and fiction. That's one lesson I will NEVER forget.

Logical reasons will never satisfy the hunger of a soul.

Sorry. Not interested. 

If I mean anything to you, then you'd check with me first before believing anything you may be told about me. If not, then it means I am nothing to you and I'm fine with that too. Apart from God, I am the ONLY ONE who knows my truth.

Be grateful for moments when you feel as though the whole world is against you; for that is when you will know who your true allies and loyal supporters are. This is how God filters the people in our lives so we can see the diamonds among the gravels.

Love wins. Malice loses. Always.

If you're gonna lie each time you speak; I am not interested to listen or give you the opportunity to fool me. Here's the lowdown on what you're doing now: I was doing it when you were still swimming in your father's balls.

I'm beginning to feel as though I'm living in a foreign country.

I hope he's worth all the lies you tell yourself everyday.

I'm detoxing, so I shall stay home all day because a clean public toilet is as mythical as the unicorn.

You know that if you have to lie and hide, whatever you are doing is WRONG! And there is NO right way of doing something WRONG.

I'm trying my very best to age gracefully but I think eventually, I may have to put up a darn good fight! 

People should stay out of nosing around other people's backyard when their own is infested with weed and parasites.

For as long as I am alive, I WIN!

I really get a kick out of ignoring drama queens and divas.

And now you are caught in your own web of lies, the more you struggle to get out, the tighter the knot gets around your neck. This is your own doing. No one else to blame but yourself.

As much as I'd 'love' to do sit-ups, I need to lie-down.

In my opinion, some people should just take the cloth that covers their aurat and stuff it in their judgmental and bitching mouths! The hijab is NOT a license for you to look down on others.

I'm sorry you can't be the center of my universe. Unfortunately for you, that place has already been taken up by God.

Biting my lips. Got nothing nice to say.

Forgiveness is only for unintentional wrong doings. There's no mercy for malice and spite.

Good God! Keep your preachings to yourself, mate! Ramadhan is a time of self and spiritual cleansing! Not for feeling holier-than-thou! Keep yourself in check. No one's perfect! Pfftt!!

Beb, if its complicated, its not a relationship. Simple.

God is the best teacher. Some people learn a lesson a day. Some may need a month, while others take years or a lifetime to understand a simple thing. Let's hope our light bulb moment doesn't come just before our final return home.

Its not fair to compare your worst to other people's best. Even if you can't help yourself, at the very least, be fair.

I'd rather focus on things I CAN control.

Its not a crime to make a mistake. Its just stupid to keep repeating it.

A swan looks elegant and graceful as it glides across the pond. But beneath the surface of the water, it's feet are frantically paddling for it's dear life! So, don't assume everything is hunky dory. It takes a lot of effort to get it looking this good.

In order to appreciate the blessings of today, we need to dump yesterday's attitude. Negative expectations beget negative outcomes.

Be grateful when you can sleep, for there are many zombies out there who would trade anything for a decent shut eye.

No matter how bad things are, no matter how harshly you judge yourself, no matter how much you have sinned and think you're not worthy of God's forgiveness, please remember you are loved by Allah the Most Loving and Most Merciful. You are loved because you are worthy of love. That's a fact.

Shut up when you're either too angry, too happy, too sleepy or have had too much coffee. Come to think of it, just shut up.

Even if I could turn back time, I'd still make the same mistakes I made... but in a different way. 

ADAMANT: Attitude of the Day.

In moments when you feel happy and loved, savor the pleasure and remember it when you're down to remind yourself that things will be okay again.

Everyone has different reasons for doing the same thing.

Today is a brand new day. Don't ruin it by being selfish.

It amazes me how much people reveal their inner self through the things they say on their updates. Some people really need to get laid. Holy crap!

I'm not ashamed to admit I am old enough to remember May 13th incident. I was there. And I DO NOT want any of my loved ones to be killed unnecessarily. I am grateful my country is not Afghanistan or Palestine. If that makes me shallow, so be it.

Jangan mengata orang lah. Sendiri pun tak betul.

Let's not be like some stupid country that votes for a president only to declare later that the fella can't do the job for some reason or rather. Or else, stop bitching and qualify yourself to be the leader of a nation. Opinions don't change the status quo. Action does. No, not demos or rallies. Shake your own tail feathers and do it yourself, idiots!

Well done! You have proven whatever that people have been saying about you is true! Congratulations!

I hate shopping. I'm not into shoes or handbags. I don't care about the latest vogue trend. I must be a man... 

Change teaches us to adapt and adjust. If we resist the lesson, we will be broken.

If everyone realizes that we are all walking towards death, we wouldn't be in such a hurry to get there.

Silence is the best way to express disapproval.

And she pinched my pain away and willed a smile unto my face. Pain is a great teacher of gratitude.

Too bad a pretty face is spoiled by a foul mouth. What a waste.

Don't quote the Quran and Hadith just to sell your products lah! Allah and our Prophet (s.a.w) has nothing to do with your business!

In reading the madness of others, I stumble upon my own elusive sanity.

Stop preaching, lah! Everyone is too busy listening to their own internal dialogues.

When gratitude is only said by mouth but not felt by the heart, the mouth will feel thirsty and the heart will feel restless. The absence of barakah, that is.

If I don't fit your idea of how I should be, maybe its time for you to expend your mind. There's plenty others who can accommodate my truth. You're not worthy of my conformity.

Some types of madness can be contagious.

Question: What's worse than a PMS-tic woman? 
Answer: A pre-menopausal woman. She's neither here nor there.

Some people don't realize they have a really ODD problem. ODD = Over Dramatizing Disorder.

So much for beauty sleep. After hours of sleeping, I still look the same... Dayyum.

I'd like to believe that I have done such a fantastic job at bringing up my children to be independent, resourceful and intelligent that they won't miss me when I'm gone. If that's an achievement, why is my heart aching...? Time to let go.

There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.... I've had enough.

One day I'll fly away. And when I'm gone, it won't make a difference if I'm loved or missed. I'll still be gone.

If life begins at 40, when is midlife crisis suppose to hit...? When you're dead...?

I reckon midlife crisis is like when you have rambut gatal. You just HAVE to keep on searching for the root of the itchiness and pull it out in order to restore sanity.

May Allah SWT give you patience for what you struggle with, and may your struggles be for Allah SWT's sake. Ameen.

I'll make sure you know it when you've made the mistake of crossing the line.

When you forgive someone, you are making a promise to not use their past sins against them. Forgiveness is a promise.

Cover yourself for modesty but silence your lips for humility. Cloth is cloth. Faith is faith. Two different things. Don't measure one by the other.

Haters are people who just have no idea how to deal with their own stupidity.

Its so sad to see how blind some people can be when it comes to telling which is diamond and which is glass. And then they wonder why their lives lack quality and worth.

New Age Biodata: Home - FB, Phone - Mobile, Address - Email. News Source- Twitter. Relationship - Complicated.

Today, I am grateful I can't find the perfect weapon to kill someone. Just saying... -.-

I'm sorry but I choose not to personalize your anger because it ain't got nothin' to do with me. So, go dog crazy for all I care.